Monday, April 21, 2008

Hi!

I am still here! (pant pant) Let me...catch...my breath first...


Ah, there.

So, it's been a very busy week and a half.

April 13th was Chris' birthday and as it was a Sunday we enjoyed a gorgeous spring day in Sherman where we played bocce at the park while drinking beer, hung out at the house watching movies and smoked the hookah a bit. It was a very memorable, beautiful day.

Then the next day, the craziness began. I drove to Austin and worked from the 14th thru the 17th and then drove back to Sherman on the 18th, a Friday, and then went to class this past weekend. It was the in class meeting of my online class for Enology II. I hadn't met this professor yet as he is actually teaches at Iowa State. But he was really informative and a very good teacher and was able to explain a lot of the questions we had. Then Sunday we had another good day filled with errands like laundry and shopping, but we did get to ride bikes and watch more Battlestar Galactica.

Now I am back in Austin and I will be here until Friday morning. Blah, I hate all this driving but I am about to move back into my house, working at Whole Foods and still have weekend classes and workshops to attend so I do what I must.

Today has been an awesome day so far, and most of it has been in the car. Well, actually it was stressful as I hit morning traffic in Dallas and then tried to get a bill straightened out with my dental office and my insurance. But instead of getting emotional and losing my cool, I thought about all the options and continued working towards them, and I think it might be okay!!

Then I went to the eye doc place because the film on my glasses are glazing over and I constantly have to squint at everything, but GOOD NEWS, they have a 2 year warranty so it's free to fix them. Thank the Lord.

Then I went to the gym because my HR person from work never cancelled my membership but I didn't know if it would still be active since I don't have a regular paycheck from Whole Foods since I was only seasonal. But it is! So I worked out and showered and now am feeling much better.

I work at 4, but only until 1030 so it's a quick and fast shift. Then tomorrow I am going to workout in the morning, meet with my counselor, study and then go to work. I have got to get focused on my schoolwork, it's almost done for this semester! Whee!!

Sorry about the boring update. But that's why I haven't been able to blog in a while. Thanks for checking!

Michelle

Friday, April 11, 2008

Chick books, guy books....

PS (Ha! A PS before I even write anything!) I use Chick in a lovingly, non-degrading way. I think chick has taken on a connotation of its own in this context. So if you are offended, chill out.)

I might have already told this story on here once. I have a horrible memory of what I have said or not and what I have heard or not. I think this is one of the main reasons Chris married me, he can tell me the same jokes and stories over and over again and each time, it's like I have never heard it before! Anyways, I digress...

When I was cashiering one day at the (w)Hole, I was talking to this one customer about the book I was currently reading. I told him it was by Barbara Kingsolver.

"Oh, a chick book." he said with a slight smirk.

Irked, I replied "What do you mean?"

"Well, there are chick flicks. And there are chick books. Kingsolver definitely writes chick books. " and he walked off.

I fumed. I was mad because it felt like he insulted me AND Ms. Kingsolver.

Later, when I became more accepting and aware of the precious bonds between women, I learned to become proud of chick books. Some men are just offended or put off by the fact that they can't relate to the characters in the book because they are women! I mean, I don't read certain comics, magazine, etc...because I can't relate to the men characters.

Currently I am reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and I started thinking about the difference between chick books and guy books.



The Amazing Adventure is definitely a guy book. One of the underlying themes is the start of comic books. Now, I am not saying that girls don't read comics. But on the whole, boys do tend to read, invest and spend more time with comic books. Or at least they did at one time. This book is about the people behind the groundbreaking work of comic books and their lives. It's a good book.

Another guy book author comes to mind as I write this: Paul Auster.Fierce photo! I love his books! Book of Illusions, Timbuktu...ah, they are so good. And I don't really know the main reason why I place his style under guy books, but it could be all his main characters are male and his female characters are never really, well...easy to relate to. They tend to get swept off their feet too often. Granted, I haven't read all his works so this is only based on a handful of works.

So, this brings us to the question: do men and women read differently? Do they read for a different end? With a different purpose in mind (either conscious or sub?)

But all this to say, why did that one guy smirk about chick books? Most women can travel back and forth between chick and guy books. And even if they don't, they wouldn't say "Oh that's aguy book." Smirk, smirk.

Why do chick books then, get looked down upon? Trash novels, Danielle Steel (repetitive), Chicken Soup for the Soul, etc...I mean, even graphic novels have a better rep than trashy novels. But don't they do the same thing? They take someone off in a fantasy land where talking to the cute sister of Dream (Death) is possible or where a muscle-ripped, barbarian can be tamed by love. (First reference: The Sandman Series;second: about 1/2 of romance novels)

Some would argue that one is art and the other doesn't have any artistic value. But who is to say what is art and what's not? To the lonely wife who takes care of all the household chores, the kids, works, and has the pressure of still required to look young while her pudgy, hairy husband snores next to her as she reads a romance novel...who says that's not like looking at Van Gogh for her?

Does it have to do with emotions? Chick books, for the most part, really play up the emotion part...feelings of grandeur, love, anger, revenge.

Thus leading back to the smirking man at my register on that beautiful spring day. What is it about emotions that scared him so much?

I think I am writing in circles. But I would love your input.

PPS On a lighter note, I googled imaged romance novels and came up with some spoof covers! They are great! Enjoy!




From: http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/index.htm

And here's one just for Poshdeluxe:

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Health

So, if you haven't discovered my little link section that I finally figured out how to work, then you should. The last one, entitled, My other blog about health stuff, is my health blog. I update on my workouts, food, health goals and other body issue type stuff.

I realized I wasn't moving forward toward my health goals like I have been doing for my other goals. For example, when I realized I wanted to be a winemaker, I researched, moved and am now almost finished with school with an internship lined up to start in the summer. Steps in the right direction, I would say.

But with my health, well, I was cheating myself. Which is not cool.

I would say "Oh yeah, I want to run a 5K, 10K, marathon, triathlon, go hiking for several days, etc..." but then would never take any steps towards those goals.

So see my other blog about the steps I am taking.

But all that got me to thinking about promises we make ourselves and then break. And if you're one who never breaks a promise to others, then why would you break a promise to yourself? What does that say about how you value yourself?

Mainly, these are the questions I have to keep asking and reminding myself to think about. When I say to myself, I am going to do X today, then I should make plans to do X. This what I had to do when I decided to move away from Austin and my loved ones. This is what I have decided to do when I go workout. This is what I SHOULD be doing when I see our messy household, that is, take steps towards making it a nicer, clean household.

Unfortunately I have no time this week since I broke loads of promises to myself earlier this year in regards to my online classes. Had I stayed on top of things then, I would not be scrambling now. Ah well, I can't guilt and regret over it now. The only thing I can do is promise to do better and to keep my promise.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

When to step in and when to not? Do I just stand as a pillar of encouragement and love? Or do I come riding in a horse trying to save the day?

Of course, posed in that silly way, I do not come into save the day.

But looking back, could something have been done?

I know I am writing in such a cryptic way. Some friends of mine are going through some issues and I am trying to decide whether I should stay observant as I have been or whether I should say something.

In fact, just writing this means I am butting in. I mean, what's to stop them from reading my blog? What's to stop someone after figuring it out to mention it to either one of them?

But it all leads to a question that only mildly pertains to them: Where is the line?

When my parents were going through some issues, some of my mom's friends backed away. They pulled out of her life, either because they didn't know how to handle it, they didn't want to address something that they might have to deal with or they didn't want to have to choose.

It's hard seeing people you care about go through so much pain. I was in my early 20s when my parents went through some really bad times and somehow landed on their feet. It didn't affect me because I was fresh in college, striving for my own independence. I also didn't want to hear about it. Shamefully, I think back on the moments when either of my parents reached out to me, either for support or encouragement or just to talk and I shrugged them off.

Luckily, as I said, they worked through them. They both wanted to keep the 20+ marriage going. Now, without any kids in the household, it feels like their marriage is stronger than ever.

A couple of years ago I watched another couple go through some bad times. It all worked out for the better. Although the extreme seemed shocking at the time, they have gone on, grown and matured in ways they probably wouldn't have had they stayed together.

But with those two examples, it's hard to say to those going through tough times to "work it out" because we never really know what's going on, we never really know who that person is going to become with or without their partner.

Either way, it makes me look at Chris and my heart swell knowing that we have chosen each other to be with, to love. And that any problems we come across, we will work them out. Or at least try. And I think that will have made all the difference.

Monday, April 07, 2008

One more week.

My weekend went by fast. We drove to Tyler on Friday when Chris got out of school. We loaded up Brandy and our laundry, grabbed dinner from the Watsonburger (yes, a real place that's not very good) and headed towards Tyler. The nice thing about being in Sherman is that Tyler is only about 2 hours away. Thus, we don't use a lot of gas and right when the trip starts feeling like it's taking forever, we are there!

Usually, when we go to Tyler, it's a weekend of laying around, playing cards, watching movies and visiting. This time, I decided to shake things up a bit. I tenatively planned going to a winery called Kiepersol Estate Winery and then playing bocce in the park on Saturday. So we got up, I went running and then we had breakfast. We started off our little adventure by going to the winery's tasting room that located in Tyler. There I met Chad, the tasting bar manager. He told me a little about him while my in-laws and Chris looked around the shop, where they not only had their wines but other Texas wines. Chad told me about his 23 years experience of teaching and when I exclaimed that he looked so young (he did indeed look 35 at least), he told me all about his Botox trade he does with a surgeon where he brings the wine and gives her a massage in exchange to Botox injections.

Then we tasted some wine there. Chris really liked the Tempernillo and I really liked the Syrah. But we actually wanted to visit the vineyard, which was located about 20 miles out of Tyler. So we loaded up again and went to the vineyard.

FAN.CY.

This place was gorgeous. It being a beautiful day, we went on the patio with our tastings and discussed what our picnic options were while overlooking the vast acreage of vineyards. This place has 51 acres of vineyards. 51!! In East Texas!! It takes work, money, prayer and more money to keep vines alive in East Texas. You have not only to deal with Pierce's Disease, but with mold, mildew, rot, etc...

The rest of the wines I tried were fabulous! They only had one white, which I thought was a little odd, but it was Semillion, one of my favorite whites. It was good, but I prefer Semillion to be aged sur lies in oak, it gives it a more round, creamy flavor. This one hardly had any finish but was real clean and crisp.

The 3 barrel reserve merlot was excellent as was the Sangiovese. Chris got a bottle of the tempernillo from his parents as his birthday present (it's this upcoming Sunday!) and I purchased a bottle of the Sangiovese. I think we will have it with pizza this week.

After deciding on Subway, we went to the park and had lunch. The day was gorgeous! Absolutely clear, bright and high in the low 70s. Chris introduced Ben (brother in law), Noble and another guy from Tyler to the game of Bocce. The little girls, the nieces, were also enchanted with the game. When the toss was over, they would race to the sitting balls to pick them up and they were the official holders of my ball and of Noble's. Sometimes we would let them throw the white ball and they loved that.

After that, I ran with the girls to the stage of the amphitheatre of the park where the girls ran across the stage, showing me the Peter Pan ballet moves. They saw the ballet the day before.

Then we all went back to Karen and Noble's house for rest time before having dinner that night. We had crab legs! They were good although a little hard to eat.

Sunday was a lazy day, we slept in, went over to Chris' grandparents for lunch, visited Jennifer and Ben in their new home and then loaded back up and drove home.

And basically as soon as we got home, I went to bed since I have one more week of getting up at 4am. Thus, I didn't have time to download the pictures I took this weekend (which I didn't take as much as I should have). So, when I do, I will re-edit this blog and put in the pictures. Fun!

Today I have a lot to do. I work until 10am, then I am going to workout, and then I will be doing schoolwork until at least 5 or 6.

Have a great Monday everyone!
Michelle

PS Here's a picture I do have of the little girls from about a year ago. They are sitting with Noble (or Bobo), Chris' dad. Katy is on the left and Lyssa on the right:

Friday, April 04, 2008

Willpower

Thanks for all the comments yesterday everybody. And thanks for putting up with such a sleepy, stumbling, rambling of a blog. That blog was as sliced up and stretched thin as Joan Rivers. Badabing!

Anyways. Today's post will be about willpower. I discussed it a bit in my myspace blog, but the blog is reserved for funny stuff, rantings and surveys only. This blog, this one is the real deal.

Willpower. I was reading a blurb in the O magazine I think. (A disgression: I like the O magazine! Yes it always features Oprah on the cover, yes it's Oprah, yes...but the articles are really great! Really! It's like they can afford to hire the really good, thoughtful and original writers! And it's really uplifting. There are so many empowering stories for women in there. Anways...)

The blurb I was reading was talking about how willpower is like a muscle. You have to work at it to make it stronger and sometimes, when it's tired, it's easy to slip up. I know this is true especially for me. One day I will have awesome willpower and then the rest of the week, it's tired and sore. I won't get anything done and I will eat what I crave instead of listening to what my body really needs.

So, I am trying to be more aware of my willpower but being aware in a different way. More in the "this is a muscle and I have to focus on it when I am working it out otherwise I won't be in proper form and it won't get worked at all" sort of way. By being aware, it helps me to focus.

For example, yesterday my willpower was strong. I did lots of schoolwork, I ran errands, I worked out, I ate well, and I was in a relatively good mood all day.
Usually when a day like this occurs, especially after my depression years, my willpower sinks into a chaise lounge, fanning itself, calling for smelling salts and powder. It's weak. It doesn't want to do anything.

But I won't let it take the easy way out today. Today, by being aware of my willpower and pulling its lazy ass off the lounge, I will push it to make it stronger.

I can't say it will work, I can't strain it after all or push it to completely rebel, but I can make it stronger.

Here is a list of my known weaknesses:
*Chocolate, especially right after a meal
*Laying down for a little while, only to get up 2-4 hours later
*Blogging, surveying, myspacing when I should be studying or working (ahem)
*Slouching on the futon with Chris watching movies/shows online when we should be picking up before slouching on the futon
*Having more than one glass of wine when we get a bottle, it's okay to do that every once in a while, but not every time you buy a bottle! Make it last for the next meal!
*Portion control and eating slower
*Putting off schoolwork

So yeah, that's quite a list and I am sure there are things I forgot. But let's take things a little slow, ok?

What things does your willpower not stand a chance against? What are you working on? Thoughts, suggestions, ridicules? Post a comment, I love getting comments!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

My own experiences with rudeness

Today's blog is going to be weird, rambling, and it will digress a lot.

My main point is the lack of manners I come across in my jobs and places where I live.

Let's start by talking about the town where I temporarily live right now.

The people in North Texas, generally speaking, are very rude. It's a whole different culture than what I am used to in central Texas and the Hill Country. They rarely respond back when I say hello to members at my job, they demand things, they talk but don't listen...at first, I didn't know what was going on. Then I realized, they are just rude! Entitled indeed!

In McKinney it is more that people act like they have a sense of entitlement. Why? Because McKinney is where new money is escaping from the sprawl of Dallas. Except McKinney is now a sprawl of Dallas thanks to new money escaping there. They try to act rich, pout and demand, and then don't tip. All the while never really listening to you when they ask you a question, they are just preparing for what they want to say next.
In Sherman, it's more of a "we're trying to be small town but at the same time trying to act a little like McKinny while at the same time trying to escape our country roots" feel.

I think it's from living on the prairie. Living in this dreary country with the howling wind, hot summers and sometimes very cold winters is enough to make anyone pissed off at everyone.
That's still not an excuse though.

Rudeness exists in Austin too. Especially as people move in because its the "place to be" or whatever. I experienced a lot of rudeness when I worked at Whole Foods and on the road. But I also came across a lot of nice people too, which I have yet to do here in North Texas.

I just don't understand rudeness. I try to be polite in every situation, with every bank teller, grocery store checker, and even customer service reps for my accounts. I almost always say "Your company did this..." instead of "You did this...", I say thank you, I call people ma'am and sir, etc...

I have come to the conclusion that the generation of parents now (with kids older than 5), for the most part, are so involved with their lives and their own immediate family, they have blinders on. They don't realize there is a world around them. And when that happens, they don't say thank you as they are handed their receipt. They don't say hello when the receptionist says hi. They don't hold the door open for people and they certainly don't let people merge in a traffic jam.

And the worst part, this gets passed onto their kids.

I have another theory. You know how some kids resist being spoken to by strangers sometimes? For example, when a cashier says hello to them. Some kids are just shy. But some kids don't respond because they don't know how to! They see how their parents interact with other adults, especially those in a service position, and don't know how to say "hello". I swear, I did a little experiment. Children with parents who interacted with the world around them were more sociable. Children who were, not shy, but resistant to interacting usually had parents who ignored me as well.

Yesterday there was an interview on NPR about the differences in generations and this gen x'er was complaining about the gen y'ers.

Let's break down the generations. My dad is officially a baby boomer, but a late baby boomer, being born in 1958. My mom, born in 1961, is technically a Tweener or in Generation Jones, each characterized by being a teen in the 70s. I am either a late Gen X'er or apart of the MTV Generation, also called XY (the cusp of X & Y).

It could be said that rudeness can jump around with each generation. Baby boomers, for the most part, came of age and helped to start the counterculture of the 60s. They experienced something progressive, violent and some major transitions. Then as they settled down and got older, they tended to become more conservative. And to date, they have the highest median household income. Maybe with this trend toward settling, becoming more conservative, they want to give their children a safe home and with luxuries they couldn't or didn't want to have.

And now those kids, Gen X, have their own kids. Gen X is characterized mainly by their cynicism and disgruntled attitudes toward authority. Gen X'ers grew up in a time when divorce was common, economic ups and downs, etc...

Could the rudeness stem from each generation trying to make a comfy nest for their children? It seems that each generation tries to rebel against that of their parents. If they grew up in a placid time, they cause a ruckus (boomers). If they grew up during turmoil, they sit back and mock everything (x'ers).

But each generation tries to provide for their children what they didn't have.

And if they didn't have bikes, suburbs, dinner on the table by 5pm, the Silent Generation (parents of boomers) did that for their kids.

If the boomers didn't have MTV, cars when they were kids, and money then their kids gets them.

If the Gen X didn't have internet when they were little, cell phones, iPods, etc...then their generation gets them.

Am I making any sense?

Either way, the roles of parents in society play a major role in how their kids will interact with the world.

(By the way, I just helped a member out. Did I get a thank you? No. Sometimes, even those of way past generations, like the Silent Generation, forget their manners.)

So, please, be aware of how you treat people.

How you act today could be how you are treated tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Stumbling

Remember: I am on the right path.

Well, I have tripped. And although I have sat up and wiped the dirt from my face, I am sore and bruised.

I am even further behind in school and guess what I did yesterday? Nothing. I sat on my path and refused to budge.

Today I hope to rise and, although faltering, continue on this journey. Even though I have made the path for myself rocky and uphill, I just have to continue onwards.

Today:
Work
Home, change clothes, gather school books, go to Winery and work on lab reports
Pick up Chris at 4
Gym; treadmill 5-530, abs, kickboxing 6-7
Dinner and beer with hubby


I am on the right path, I just wish I had a hot air balloon.