So, we had this plan...

And, it isn't going to work out. Damn.

My family owns land in Boerne along the Guadalupe River. They used to raise goats out there. Well, my grandmother left the ranch, as well as her brother. So it was just my great-grandmother for a while until she became unable to care for herself. Nobody runs the ranch now. Our goats were stolen. The homestead is falling apart.

But it is beautiful. Chris and I eventually want to own land one day, raise dairy goats, be self-sufficient as possible. And we thought, what better way than to maintain the boerne land while it is still in our family? We could restore the house, the barns, etc. We could raise goats, plant some peach orchards and maybe try some olives? But there is a great-uncle who doesn't care about keeping the land in the family. There are people who would rather sell and use to the money to "hunt" animals. (Hunt meaning feeding the animals, waiting until they come to where you are sitting and then shooting them. I mean, really!)

Anyways, we didn't account for him. My grandmother seemed to like the idea of having family out there again and taking interest in her childhood home.

But with him in the way, it seems like our chances are slim to none.

We tried. We were willing to take a risk. And that is a big step, in a way. It means that we have not settled too comfortably in our home, in our lifestyle to take a risks. And that makes me feel good.

One day...though...

Ummm

So much to do and not organized enough to know how to do it all without wasting a ton of gas.

That pretty much sums up my morning.

First I was going to get the oil changed after I dropped off Chris, then I was going to run and then do dishes.

Instead I went home, changed into running clothes, read, got into the car and went to a coffee shop.

Uh?

Then, I drove to a produce stand of the farmers that gave us a tour not too long ago. Gave them their Thank You card, which I guess is one thing off the list. Drove here to the library. And now I have no idea which direction my head is spinning.

LE sigh.

At least I am out of bed. But I have driven a lot today and I hate that. And my bike tire has a flat.

Le sigh.

I had a weird dream last night about taking a last minute flight to NY to see this comedian I really like and after the show, realizing I didn't have any place to sleep nor money to pay for it, i called my friend Bill and asked if I could crash there. But if felt so real that when I woke up I expected to be in NY.

I made some horrible pita last night.
But I also made some great curried veggies.

I am rambling. Can you see why I am so off track?

Rolling of the eyes,
michelle

I felt like I was in Junior High

So, there are these beautiful, smart and funny women I have known for a while. I want to be better friends with them, but time never worked out and then, they joined the "mommy club".

Seriously. Everyone says they won't be like this when they get married or pregnant, but last night, I was getting restless during church and wanted to go out in the hallway, where lo and behold, there were some of said above women. I joined them for a little while, but felt out of place. I didn't have a baby slung to my hip or even inside of me. I felt like I was intruding. (Steph, I know you are laughing at my ridiculousness right now) But it is true! So, I joined Kim at the entrance to church so I could still talk and participate. But I kept glancing over my shoulder, watching the mommies talk.

It's true! You can't deny that if you are not a mommy or pregnant that it is awkward hanging around a bunch of them. They talk about things you can't relate to, they share andectotal stories and advice. I am glad that mommies have other mommies to bond, but I can't help but feel left out.

Now I feel like a jerk for blogging about it. But I want to always be honest on my blog.

On another note (this inspired by Steph), I was so rude to my hubby last night. Right after I said the horribly rude remarks, I thought "Good God! I can't believe I actually said something so mean!" And I kind of apologized right afterwards, but then we went into a friends house and then went home and crashed from exhaustion. So, we really didn't get to talk about it. Maybe tonight.I hate being mean and sometimes I feel like it just pours out of me before I can stop it. And unfortunately it seems like our life partners get the worst of it.


And I slept in way too long this morning. Blah.

Oh well, I think I am going to try and make it a good day regardless.

Ciao,
Michelle