Focus

So, I went to my monthly midwife appointment. It went well, I met with another midwife who I didn't really like as much as the others ones I met with, but she was nice enough. I did gain 6 pounds though. In one MONTH. And when you consider my goal weight for the whole thing is 25 pounds, 6 pounds is a lot.
 
I know where I went wrong though. I did indulge a little too much on the snacks and vanilla milkshakes. But I also went from walking a mile to a bus stop and standing on my feet for 8 hours to sitting in a chair for 8 hours. And I was still eating the same as I did when I led that very active lifestyle.
 
So, now I need to re-adjust. I do have to watch the sweets and I have to get the lead out. I need to start moving. I walked twice already this week and lifted weights once. That's a start.
 
But damn. I thought I was doing so good.
 
Other than that, the baby's heartbeat sounds good and everything we did see at the ultrasound looks healthy. We go back next week for another one since the face and the front of the heart could not been seen from the baby's position.
 
And I still feel so completely utterly un-prepared.
 
I am at a total loss about diapers, daycare...well, those are the two main ones. We want to do cloth diapers. Yes. Yes, I know. They use water. But they also don't stick around in a landfill for 1000 years and, yes, there are some made of biodegradable corn stuff. But mass farming corn is just as bad for the environment and hello! It's food. There are people starving throughout the world and we have the audicity to put food in our cars and in our packaging. Humph.
 
I digress.
 
So there are services that pick up the dirty ones and drop off the cleans ones and financially speaking, I think it works out to be a pretty good deal.
 
But what if the little tyke is in daycare? Do daycare centers handle cloth diapers?
 
And then there is the question of daycare itself. As in: WE CAN'T AFFORD IT. So, what do we do then?
 
These two main thoughts are constantly with me, swimming somewhere in the back of my brain, occasionally surfacing.
 
Then there is the house issue (needs constant improving) and the commute issue (needs constant improving) and you can see why i would reach for that vanilla milkshake.
 
Instead, though, I am trying to take those worries and use them to fuel my walking. We'll see how that goes.

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20 weeks

Tomorrow is the beginning of my 20th week being pregnant.

Squeee!!!!

That means I am about halfway through which means ohmygodwearegoingtobeparentsin20weeksandhowinthehellarewegonnadoit!!!!

As well as happiness, of course.

My belly is rounding out and I promise, promise to put up pictures soon, but it's cool finally having to wear maternity clothes and look pregnant instead of just fat. I am also going to start doing some mommy bonding with other moms because I need advice, seriously. But also because my little one is going to need playdates and little friends his or her age! (JOY, could you please move back to Austin? nono, I understand...)

It's weird though, I was talking with Joy today and I said something that just sounds weird. I could totally do this pregnancy thing again. I know, I know, I haven't actually gone through labor or dealt with staying up really late...but it's kind of sad to think that this might be my only experience with pregnancy. Not that we are ruling brothers and sisters out, we are just not planning yet. We are going to see how one turns out to be and then we will decide. But I love being pregnant! Although I haven't gone crazy with food, I love that I COULD if wanted to. Ya know? I love the fact that I am constantly nourishing someone. SOMEONE. Isn't that weird? Before there was nothing and now there is SOMEONE inside me. It's kind of profound to me when I think of it that way.

Now I want ice cream and cupcakes...thanks to Posh for the cupcake craving. Oh man. If you ever need some more panel judges Posh, I am there. I think a pregnant lady's perspective on cupcakes would add more insight to your panel.

Cupcakes!

ultrasound

Well. The babe must take after his dad. It's stubborn. It was lying facedown so we couldn't see some of the vitals needed for the anatomy scan, such as the four heart chambers and the face. It also had its little legs (which were precious to see, by the way) tucked up unders its body so we couldn't make out the gender either.
 
We tried me laying on my side for a bit. When I rolled over back onto my back, you could see the little one trying to flip over to be face up, but as soon I as rolled over, it flipped back over.
 
Little stinker.
 
But since we didn't get some of the vitals, I have to go back in a month and we will see if it wants to cooperate this time or not.
 
I was a little disappointed, but I think i knew there was a good chance of this, so I am not too terribly disappointed with waiting. I mean, I still have 21 more weeks of waiting as it is, so waiting 4 more weeks isn't that bad.
 
I am learning patience.

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Update-y things

Well, I am 5 months. Officially 19 weeks on Saturday. I am starting to show, but the roundness isn't quite there yet and I can't wait for it to get there because now it just looks like two big bulges from maybe eating too much pizza.

I go today to the ultrasound appointment where they look at the babe's brain, heart, spinal cord, and ...um...the other vital organs (I am reluctant to name them on here because I don't want my page to get added to google search for certain words...). So we find out today if we are having Liam Noble Johnson or Laurel Katharine Johnson!

Yup, those are the names. Liam is a name I have always, always loved and connected to and Noble is Chris' dad's name. Laurel is my grandmother's name and Katharine is my great-grandmother (grandmother's mother) and my sister's name.

We certainly didn't mean both names to have the letter 'L' but it worked out that way. And we certainly didn't mean to have a baby L and a kitty Lucy. Too many Ls!

Not really.

I have felt some movements that I suspect were baby bumpings but I am not sure and I haven't felt anything from the outside yet. I hope that changes soon too although I am not looking forward to getting kicked in the ribs. But ah well, not much one can do about it.

I will post pictures soon. I took some at my birthday of the belly and when I get the ultrasound stuff today,I will try to post those as well.

Other than all that, things are going well. I have only gained 5lbs during my entire pregnancy so far (I am hoping to keep it around 20lbs when all is said and done, but I am trying not to worry about it too much as well). I have been getting hungry about every two hours and I try to eat healthy stuff and lots of greens. Although I still have a little trouble digesting them smoothly.

House stuff is all right. I have someone from the City of Austin investigating who did work in our yard several years ago, it still smells from what we suspect is a leaky wastewater line. It is very frustrating because it creates this awful smell in the house too.

My family is helping us with the last bedroom this March where we will replace the window with a more efficient double-pane, low-E glass window, re-wire the room, put up a new ceiling fan, new sheetrock, new baseboards and trim and finally, new paint. Then it will be all ready to start acquiring stuff for the babe.

Then we just need to finish some minor details on the hallway floor, replace the old laminate flooring with new laminate, and then do some major cleaning ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I am talking about doors, cabinets, major scrubbing of the wood floors...I am going to be enlisting my friends and family who are known for their cleaning, work and motivation skills to help me on that project (ahem, Ann, G'ma, Katie and my mom).

And then there's the small, everyday realizations that Chris and I are going to be parents. The Cool! moments and the Ohmygod! moments.

Speaking of Chris, he has been the best throughout the whole pregnancy. I mean, he was the best before but now, wow.

He cooks every meal, makes sandwiches for me, cleans the litter, takes out the trash, does dishes and laundry, lets me sleep while we could do other things...and still tells me I am beautiful.

And even with those two separate bulges I was talking about earlier, I feel beautiful. At times, pregnancy feels weird and uncomfortable,but on the whole, it is beautiful.