Winding up, winding down

Hello.

The last week of the semester is upon me. I have a couple of major lessons still to complete and one more final (in the lecture part of chemistry) and then I am done for this semester!

This has been a major accomplishment. I haven't been a full time student and completed a semester since 2002. That is a long time ago. So, I feel proud that I stuck with it, while working 25 hours a week, and I might be making all A's as well.

And I am tired. But more frustrated due to the lack of organization on the viticulture/enology program here at the school. The spring schedule is still not out yet and I still don't know if all the classes I am taking here will even transfer to Fresno. But I must keep with it. I started it.

Things have been a little rough for me this past week. I am still functioning, like getting work done, working out, going to work...but I have been feeling 'off' and I think it's my same old haunts trying to resurface. But thanks to De, my wonderful counselor, I can live with it when it tries to rear its ugly head. And if I keep moving, then it will eventually go away. So, I just need to keep getting things done, get some sunshine and workout and I will be fine.

I know it's trying to resurface, not only from my feeling of being off, but also from a dream I had last night. I don't recall the dream in its entirety, but what I do remember is waking up in my dream and looking at the side of the bed and seeing a dark, fog-like substance, floating and twisting in the air. I knew it wanted to overtake me. I opened my mouth to scream,but nothing came out. Then I woke up.

I think that dark cloud represents my depression trying to fog up my life again. I think if I dream about it again, I will get up and walk away instead of trying to scream.

Action.