Gin sleep and forgiveness

Usually, sleep steals me away. I lay awake for a couple of minutes and the next thing I know I am waking up the next day.

Last night, sleep was very gentle. As I lay in bed, it crept up on my and enveloped me in a soft cocoon. And I smiled knowing I was going to be off in Dream's territory very soon.

This morning's dream proved to be interesting. I woke up and then faded back into Dream's realm for alittle while, at least where I could control the dream before it got too complicated.

Here's the dream:
I ran into my ex-boyfriend while I was working. I am just getting a break and when I see him, I convince him to stay and talk with me. Then my anger and bitterness unleash and I tell him everything that I had bottled up for five years because of the lack of closure on our relationship.

It feels very, very good. Very good.

Then, the scenery changes and the dialouge is continued on South Congress during a little shopping festival called "First Thursdays" and I continue to get louder and louder until I am almost screaming at him. He gets angry because he knows I am right and because I am embarassing him so he walks away, only to return and stand very close to me. Then I hear a loud bang and everything slows down and gets quieter, like I am underwater. I realize then that CL shot me.

Later, I am on the witness stand testifying and prosecution is cross examining me, hoping I will break down into tears so CL is locked away. But when they ask me how I would punish him, I say "He needs help, counseling, not a jail. I believe in love and forgiveness and when I was brought back to life in the ER, I realized I forgave CL for shooting me and for our entire relationship together."

Then I woke up.

I shocked myself into waking up. I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth, but as I awoke, I realized that is exactly what I need to do. To continue doing. Every day. Not only CL, but ML, the guys that pushed all the wrong buttons the other day, with the lady on her cellphone tailgating me...all those peeps need love and forgiveness.

And it is hard.

Especially with Texas drivers.