We decided against it.

My counselor and I decided to wait a while before going on meds. Whew. I mean, at some times I think I might need, but then other times, I really don't wanna to take them.

You see, I have conflicted feelings about them. While I think they do help some people, I also believe in the power of the mind to re-direct one's way of thinking. A good analogy I heard was that our thought patterns can resemble trails in a grassy field. The more we tend to think in one pattern (ie: I can't do this, I can't do that or I can do this,etc) then the more engrained the trail becomes and more permanent. But if we steer our thinking, we can create new pathways of thinking.

I believe this. I also believe in friendships (although all of my close girlfriends are either a) out of town b)busy c) have other relationships to attend to right now. Not that I am bitter. Far from it, actually. It is just funny when you need someone, just one of your close friends, they are all unavailable. At one time.)

So, I believe that a good network for friends, network of thought processes, and exercise can help tremendously.

But when you have manic depressive episodes, it doesn't matter how many webs you weave, there is always a hole in which you can fall through to that dark, deep valley.

Anyways, despite all that...we decided to wait it out and try this semester without the drugs.

BEfore I leave for vacation I have decided to get my hair cut, get my legs waxed, and buy myself some new shirts. I think those are sound decisions because I have been getting rid of so much clothing that I rotate four to five shirts. And honey, I like variety. But I am going to go quality clothes shopping because the ones from Target and Old Navy just don't last that long.

Random.

Craving Chocolate. O, Chocolate God, why do you torment me?

Michelle