The honeymoon doesn't last forever

Yesterday, I realized. This great-feeling I once had, the butterflies, the hopes, the sparkles might be fading. I met with De. And I left the session uncomfortable and irritated. I know that is a good thing when meeting with a counselor, obviously the good times don't last forever. And finding a counselor is a little like dating and when you find someone, you gotta take the the good along with the bad.
We are working on my school career. We are working towards a goal of me finishing classes, more than one in a row, so I can transfer to an actual university. It scares me. It does! It also scares me that De is making me go talk to people in the field area of horticulture. I have to talk to local farmers, organic farmers, nurseries, farmer market employees, landscapers..etc...And that scares me. What if I find out I don't wanna do horticulture? Then what am I gonna do?

Le Sigh.

Life has been busy lately. But I also feel like it shouldn't be as busy as I am making it out to be. Last week we had our annual wine and cheese party. This weekend we are having a garage sale and there has not been a lot of donations and the proceeds are supposed to go the garden co-op, which attendance has been next to none lately. So, I think I am just discouraged. Discouraged about the co-op, about the garage sale, about the party, about school, about my life. Depressed much? Maybe a litle.

Rose, my boss, says she saw a woman who looked just like me and the description she gave me fit my description circa 2001. Maybe it was me from the past. Maybe Rose had stumbled into a time warp and saw myself from 2001 shopping here in Austin. I wish I was with Rose so I could have told myself some very helpful advice, such as: Dump the asshole. Stay in school and you don't have to do journalism, it is easier to change majors than it is to get dismissed; Spend some time alone without a boyfriend. Have fun. Keep working out and you look great right now, although I know you think you look fat. You look fabulous. Celebrate your friends. THey are going to stick with you through thick and thin. DUMP THE ASSHOLE. Fuhgeddabouthim.

Lovely advice, don't you think?

Break's up. Gotta go.
Michelle