Hi there.

So, it's been a little while.

I know! I know! I promised to post more. But, but...well, I really don't have any excuses, so on with the blogging;

Life is going well. Going. My meetings with De are going well, although I was in a very hyper mood the last time I saw her and I hope I didn't sound too enthusiastic and gung-ho. Monday I laid in bed all day. BUT, I wasn't depressed. I wasn't. It was a deal I made to myself. I had not had a day to myself in about two weeks. So Monday was it. I slept in, watched a movie, read a book, wandered through the garden a little...It was nice. Very nice.

Today, my other weekday I have off from work, is a productive day thus far. I did some garden work. I am putting together packets for the co-op gardeners about composting. I have done some laundry. I am blogging. So, yes, it is a good day.

What is it about gardening I connect with so much? Why do I want to inhale all the information and experience I can about it so much? I crave knowledge and hands-on. I crave a mentor who I follow around the garden. For some reason, I have sort of become that mentor for others and it is weird because there is so much I don't know, haven't tried, and am still experiencing.
I want my trees to be huge and bearing fruit. I want my sunflowers to be bright and beautiful, falling over themselves with the their flowers.

I guess what I really want and need even more is patience.

And maybe that is one of the things I love about gardening, growing, pretending to be a farmer, is it's teaching me patience.

I remember one time Chris saying if you asked God for patience, it seems like God really tested your patience after that. It was funny he said that then because just the week before I was dropping Chris off at the airport for his month long trip to England and I prayed for patience. That month was hell. But it also went by fast. Maybe this passion I have for horticulture and botany is a gift that teaches. A gift of learning patience.

And also humility.

I was doing some research on gardening and spirituality when I came across a great site with observations on how gardening connects us with God. But then I came across her thoughts of control. She said we were in control of the plants we were tending to and that is a great gift from God.
I couldn't disagree more.
We pretend we are in control. But we are not. Not at all and that is one of the gifts, the connection, with gardening and God. It teaches us that no matter how much love we give something, how much compost and water we give something; it still may die suddenley without giving us fruits. It teaches us injustice and how to learn from it. It teaches us grace. It teaches us to sigh, mourn, and then move on and try again. Like God is with us. How many times are we falling over from diseases, outside sources. Removing ourselves and not using our talents, our fruits, in the world. How many times does God sigh, mourn and try another way to coax us to blossom?

How many different ways can I be cheesy?

I don't know. I am trying something different. Usually I chronicle my life or I complain. I am going to try to change that when I blog. I want to write about my thoughts, spirituality, why my friends are so freakin' great...I will try. You, my dear readers, must help me though. Remind me when I get too complain-y. Remind me to blog about other things, the vibrant things in my life.

Thanks.