I heart Neil Gaiman's stories

I love authors. I love good stories that pull me in, love and hate the characters and make me want to meet them in person. I just finished reading Neil Gaiman's newest book called Anansi Boys. Although I don't think it is his best work, I loved it. And since I love his work, I heart him too. There is something about a person who can tell a story that completely enthralls me. Who makes me fall completely in love with specific parts of his/her subconscious. His/her imagination. But of course, if I ever did meet Neil Gaiman, Paul Auster, Barbara Kingsolver...I don't think I would be able to say anything lest I say something silly. Maybe I am just star-struck because I secretly want to have that ability to write so. Damn. Well! Exclamation point! I want to be able to engage people's mind and imaginations. Perhaps that is why I was in theatre for so long. But I can't go back into theatre now, I lack the confidence I once owned. Thanks Poopyhead, Depression and slowed metabolism.

But what the hell do I want to do with my life?

I dunno.



















What I want is to not worry about money. To drink good wine. To workout and it not hurt. To be in shape and run a marathon, maybe do a couple of triathalons, to grow plants, to live somewhere where it does not get 108 in the end of September, to have a good front porch and watch maybe an offspring or two run around in the yard, climbing the pear tree...

Sigh...what a mood I am in.

I hate moods like these...brooding, sighing, complaining and dreaming....

I think it is a gift for some people just to know exactly what they want to do with their lives. It happens, I hear to some people. They know starting in college what they want to do...they go to school until they receive their required degree and then they work, fully and happily.

Dammit. I am tired of going to school and not knowing what I want to do. Of trying to lose weight when I still lack self-esteem. Of falling into these moods when I am depressed. Dammit. Dammit Dammit.

Farewell, I must depart before my brooding mood becomes too contagious.
Michelle