Staring

Today is gray. The sky is gray, the pavement, the grass, the drizzle and the steam rolling off the road. It's all gray. Even the music as I sit here in the "cafe" at Hastings is gray, alternating between a lonesome, heartbroken girl songs to sad Christian music.

I stare at the papers and books in front of me. I read a sentence, but not really. I glance over the sentences, not really ingesting them as glossing them over with my eyes.

I sigh.

I re-read about sugar in juice and wine. I re-read about how refractometers work (the light beam changes directions when going through a different medium, like say sugar and water from the juice of a grape) and hydrometry (where the density of the sugars in juice/wine is compared to the density of sugar in a solution, a weight to weight ratio).

I re-read about the lab procedure I failed to do yesterday because I needed details and I was too lazy and out of it just to do the calculations myself and change the procedure up a bit.

Today is gray. My mind is gray.

I guess associate gray with the lack of feeling, numbness. I am trying to numb part of myself today because I forgot to pack a lunch, forgot my money and forgot that Chris was taking the car, meaning I have to hang out in this shopping center until 330. If I can numb and not move a lot, then maybe I can numb the hunger pains and the spacey feeling I get when my blood sugar is low.

Thus, this melancholy blog.

I apologize, I will try to post something of a more upbeat nature very soon.

Until then, I am going to resume watching steam rise.