Before I begin...

Today is my "project day" and although that sounds like all I am going to be doing is sewing, crocheting, crafting...I'm not. Actually, I am working on a project for school. But before I begin, I shall blog.

I ran into someone from the past the other day. Online via myspace. Some of the things this person says reminds me of the way I used to think. Especially about my body and self esteem. I used to be a workoutaholic. I was in really good shape, I was fit and I actually could fit into clothes I wanted to wear. But it was never good enough. I always lamented the shape I was in, demanding more of my body, emotionally and physically. Now that I am on the complete opposite side of the spectrum body shape wise (because even though I am overweight, I am still in pretty decent shape, I can at least run a mile without stopping), I am coming to terms with my body. I don't base my physical happiness on if I can fit into certain clothes. It does affect me, but it doesn't run my life. And for right now, I am going to focus of losing the weight for health reasons, not because I want to shop at regular stores. My grandpa has type 2 diabetes, my other grandpa suffered from a heart attack, I have a history of breast cancer in my family...So I am happy at the relationship with my body now.

But I feel sorry for the person i ran into, as her life is dictated by how she looks and in turn, by how much affection and attention her partner gives her. If not enough attention is given, then it must be him or her weight. What a sad way to get through each day, constantly in limbo from other people's attention. The way to be truly loved is to start by loving yourself. Everybody else will naturally step into place after that.


Now, onto the project: Corn!